Category Archives: Completely Different

Genuine fake email received today:

Date: Wed, 19 Oct 2022 09:58:50
From: The illuminati <{person I assume is not involved}@exprivia.it>
To: Recipients <{person I assume is not involved}@exprivia.it>
Subject: [EXTERNAL] Join the illuminati.

CAUTION: This email originated from outside the organization. DO NOT CLICK ON LINKS or OPEN ATTACHMENTS unless you know and trust the sender.

Greetings, from the illuminati world elite empire. Bringing the poor, the needy and the talented to the limelight of fame, riches and powers, knowledge, business and political connections. This is the right time for you to put all your worries, your health issues, and finance problems to an end by joining the Elite Family of The illuminati!. Are you sick, Barren or having divorcing problems, finding it difficult to get job promotions in your place of work in order to excel in life just like you wish? If YES! Then join the illuminati empire you will get all this numerous benefit and solutions to your problems.

Note: that this email message was created solely for the purpose of our recruitment scheme which will end next month and this offer is for unique ones only; if you are not serious on joining the illuminati empire, then you are advice not to contact us at all. This is because disloyalty is highly not tolerated here in our organization.

Do you agree to be a member of the illuminati new world order? If YES!. Then kindly reply us back on our direct recruitment email only at: theilluminatirecruitment@hotmail.com

Please note, Kindly make sure all your response are send directly to the email stated above only at: theilluminatirecruitment@hotmail.com For more instructions on our membership process.

Note: Some email providers incorrectly place official Illuminati messages in their spam / junk folder or promotion folder. This can divert and exclude our responses to your emails.

The Illuminati.

Not adding this application to my to-do list…

© 2009 David R. Tribble, Licensed via CC BY-SA 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons.

10. They refuse to answer the four questions without a subpoena.
9. They demand a recount of the ten plagues.
8. They defend not increasing the minimum wage on the grounds that according to Chad Gadya it still costs only two zuzzimto buy a goat.
7. The afikomen is hidden in the Caymen Islands.
6. They refuse to open the door for Elijah until they see his immigration papers.
5. They attack Moses for negotiating a deal with Pharoah because why would we negotiate with our enemies?
4. They don’t understand why the Egyptians didn’t cure the plagues with hydroxychloroquine.
3. They omit the parts about slavery from the Haggadah because it reminds them of Critical Race Theory.
2. They keep saying “when do we get to the miracle of the Jewish space lasers?”
And the number one sign that you might be at a Republican seder:
1. They end the seder by singing “Next year in Mar-a-Lago.”

Stolen from Digby, which itself offers an appropriately tangled pedigree.

Update:Steve Sheffey wrote me to claim authorship, and to say he has a newsletter.