Category Archives: Completely Different

A month ago I noted that I’d requested the Miami-Dade Library’s copy of Procrastination: Why You Do It, What to Do About It Now, but I made this prediction:

Unfortunately, it seems there is only one copy in the collection and it is checked out. Given the sort of person this work likely appeals to, I am not hopeful that it will be returned any time soon.

The MDPLS only lets you check out books for a month at a time, so even if the person who has it had checked it out the day before I put in my hold request, it’s got to be overdue now. And I still don’t have it.

An old joke, but still going strong:

Ben walks into a post office one day and sees a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.

Ben’s curiosity gets the better of him; he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says, “I’m sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, ‘Guess who?'”

“But why?” asks Ben.

“I’m a divorce lawyer,” the man replies.

Via Frank Kaiser.

I like lawyer jokes. So sue me. No, on second thought, don’t sue me.

I’ve finally heard a funny joke about events in Egypt:

An army commander told Hosni Mubarak: Everything has come to an end, you should write a farewell speech for the people.

Mubarak: oh! Where are they going?

Any others?

Spurred by my asymptotic approach to grading, I resolved to see if I could get a copy of Procrastination: Why You Do It, What to Do About It Now from the Miami-Dade public library.

Unfortunately, it seems there is only one copy in the collection and it is checked out. Given the sort of person this work likely appeals to, I am not hopeful that it will be returned any time soon.

Risk Assessment and Failure Analysis in Multiple Small Illumination Sources During Winter Conditions by Robert M. Slade, version 1.0, 20031217

via The Risks Digest Volume 26: Issue 26.

Abstract:

In the author’s immediate socio-cultural environment, the unpacking, testing, placement, and maintenance of Christmas lights has been mandated to be “man’s work.” (Women will, reluctantly, direct the placement of lights, since it is an observed fact that a man has all the artistic sensitivity of a Volkswagen. The car, not the automotive designers.) Therefore, despite the complete lack of any evidence of competence in domestic “handiness,” or knowledge of electrical appliances, the author has found himself making an extensive, multi- year study of failure modes in different forms of lighting involving multiple small light sources.

This paper examines the various failure modes that have been designed as part of different formats of such lighting, and, being a confirmed pessimist, the author conjectures about possible future design failures.

It’s somewhat like ignoring the vegetable drawer of your fridge for a year, then opening it to find a bunch of very grateful sentient tomatoes busily working on their third opera.

from The Post That Cannot Possibly Go Wrong.  Which is worth reading for lots of other reasons.

(found via boingboing’s Secret history of Douglas Adams’s Starship Titanic game)